The "I Don't Know" Predicament

I'm in a huge season of "I Don't Know". It's a real struggle for me. I like things very black and white.  I like something or I don't, and mostly I'm either good at something or I'm not - meaning I will then pursue it or I won't. When there happens to be an in-between, it's really not my strong suit. I kinda lose patience with myself, with everyone around me, and kind of like to throw mini pity parties. 

This "I don't know predicament" is flooding itself into just about every area of my life. There's the new job, raising an ever growing feisty little toddler, the somewhat unexplained knee pain and body aches holding me back from completely getting my running routine back, and feeling like I have lost my creativity in the kitchen. 

Let's talk about the kid! There are days that I really feel like I have absolutely NO idea what to do about the screaming toddler at my feet. There's something about a baby banging his head in public over your refusal of him eating bird poop that kind of gives you that "end of my rope feeling". Or flailing arms and legs every which way and screaming lungs while the church parking lot watches the music pastor's wife wrangle the kid to the car because he kept running on the stage. Makes me feel like I just won the mom of the year award! But really, the heart of the matter is - how do I raise a child that is passionate and strong but loving and kindhearted at the same time? I... Don't... Know! 

Wanna talk about post-baby body? Well, here you go. I've picked up running again multiple times a week (even if all things have NOT settled back into place - mom's you know what I'm talking about!) only to find that the knee pain that made me stop running while I was pregnant has not disappeared. Or running, and running hard does not a skinny body make! It used to work so well, why not now? I just don't know. 

I've recently decided to trade in a lot of the comfort foods I cling to for bare bones instead. Giving up sugar for a while in an effort to cleanse my innate addiction to the sheer love of food. Putting limits on the amount of food I'm letting in my body and being more conscious. Not as a way of deprivation, but just being intentional. (Except for that half a cookie I ate and hid at the bottom of the bag so my husband wouldn't notice I ate it!) But I've had to settle that these decisions have been good for my overall health, but have not made a bit of difference in the way I look. It's frustrating making the right decisions and not seeing any progress.... feeling the meaning of "I don't know what's going on here" to it's depths. And let's not talk about the cooking. Ha. Because I have shifted what I'm making a lot, it makes for new challenges, and I've found that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing all over again... I've had several meal flops in the last few months! 



I have to tell you, sharing some of this, being honest about a few areas of struggle going on with me lately makes me feel a bit exposed. Opened up and raw. But something I think I've learned in the past 6 months.. I think it's okay to say "I don't know". I'm not sure why I don't know the answer's to things. I'm not sure why I haven't gotten clarity on what I'm supposed to do in situations. I think when I try and try and try in my own flesh, it makes things muddier. There has to be a time when I just stop my wandering and relinquish my own desire to know it all, have all the answers and figure it all out, and use it as a time to become vulnerable with those around me. Share my struggles with the people that really care about me, and maybe lean in and let God guide me from here on out - even if the answer to my "I don't know" is not always one I want. 

Not knowing the answers doesn't always lead to a restful night's sleep, but I've noticed that when I begin to open up the fist of things I'm holding on to, trying to figure out on my own, and share it with others - it makes you courageous and gives you a place to stand up on two feet for a bit while someone else helps carry the weight! I'm opening myself up to this more and more, and if you know me well, you'll know it's something that is really hard for me. But I'm deciding that I want something beautiful and meaningful in my relationships with others and with God, even if at the end of the day I'm still saying, "I just don't know". 

The "I don't know" doesn't seem so powerful when we allow others to help shoulder the weight of the unknown. 

Can you relate? Are you in a season of an "I don't know predicament"? Are you leaning on those around you because you can't figure it out on your own? 

Life was handing me lemons, so instead of lemonade, I made lemon cake! By the way... I know the cake in these pictures are completely against all the "cutting out sugar" nonsense I was discussing. But to be fair, this was actually made quite a while ago, before my no-sugar pact was made. It's best made with fresh Meyer lemons (which I happen to have a tree in my yard!!), but any lemons will do. I know you'll enjoy! 

Meyer Lemon Pound Cake 

Adapted from My Baking Addiction

Print Recipe

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups superfine baking sugar, divided use

zest from 6-8 Meyer lemons

1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature

2 large eggs, at room temperature

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp. freshly squeezed Meyer lemon juice, divided use

1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp. plain yogurt

3/4 teaspoons pure Mexican vanilla extract

For the Cream Cheese Icing

4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1 tablespoons milk
1 -2 tablespoon freshly squeezed Meyer lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon pure Mexican vanilla extract

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a loaf pans and dust with powdered sugar to keep loaf from sticking. 

2. In a medium bowl, combine 2 cups of sugar and all of the lemon zest until the sugar is moist and you can smell the lemon in the sugar.

3. Cream the butter with the lemon sugar mixture with a mixer until light and fluffy, and pale in color. With the mixer on medium speed, add the eggs, one at time, mixing thoroughly after each addition.

4. In a small bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl, combine 1/4 cup lemon juice, the yogurt, and vanilla. Add the flour and buttermilk mixtures alternately to the butter/sugar batter, starting and ending with the flour. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

5. Combine 1/2 cup granulated sugar with 1/2 cup lemon juice in a small saucepan and cook over low heat until the sugar dissolves. When the cake is done, allow it to cool for 10 minutes in the pan on a wire rack. Then remove the cake from the pans and set on a rack set over a baking sheet. Spoon the lemon syrup over the cake, allowing the syrup to seep into the cake. Cool completely.

6. For the cream cheese icing: Beat together cream cheese and confectioners' sugar until smooth. Add milk, lemon juice, and vanilla extract and keep beating until smooth. If the mixture is too thick, you can add a little more milk 1 teaspoon at a time until you reach a smooth, spreadable consistency. Spread the icing over the top of the cake.

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Peppermint Bark

I love to make Christmas treats. I look at recipes all year long in anticipation of which ones I'll make each year. Part of the joy of making all these treats is to give it away! One of my favorite things to do is to make gift baskets of homemade treats to give to friends, neighbors, and maybe keep a bit for myself too! 

This year, I'm going a little more low key since Baby Jackson is due any day now, and I want to make a few things in advance that will store for a bit, especially since some of these gift baskets this year will be going to the nurses at the hospital who will be helping me out - God Bless em! :) 

I made the traditional peppermint bark as one of the treats this year. It's so easy, there's no excuse to buy the store bought kind. And considering, with the cost being about $7.00 for an entire batch that can split into multiple servings - it's super affordable - way cheaper than the store bought stuff. And I can guarantee what kind of chocolate is in it - I went for the good stuff since the chocolate is the main ingredient. My favorite is Guittard chocolate. I know I've mentioned it on here before, and I think it's only available in California, but it's AMAZING, and totally worth it - even if you have to order it! :) 

Homemade Peppermint Bark - by Me

Print Recipe

Ingredients: 

12 oz Guittard (or other high quality) semi sweet chocolate chips

12 oz Guittard or Ghiradelli white chocolate chips

1 Tbs. vegetable oil (only if needed)

approximately 12 mini candy canes or 6 regular ones

Preparation: 

Line a 9x13 pan with parchment paper or silpat. 

In a microwave safe bowl, place semisweet chocolate chips and microwave in 35-45 second increments, stirring after each heating until chocolate is completely melted. Pour and spread chocolate into prepared 9x13" pan. Place in freezer for approximately 20 minutes. 

While the chocolate is chilling, place candy canes in a ziplock bag and crush with a rolling pin or glass. 

When there is a few minutes left for the semisweet chocolate, melt the white chocolate in a microwave safe bowl in 30 second increments until smooth. If chocolate is not completely smooth, add 1 TBS vegetable oil until all smooth. Add about 1/4 of the candy cane mixture into the white chocolate and spread quickly onto chilled semisweet chocolate layer. Sprinkle the rest of the candy canes onto the top of the white chocolate and chill in freezer for an additional 20 minutes. 

Take out of freezer and turn over on cutting board. Use a knife or rolling pin and pound gently to break into pieces. Enjoy. 

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Guest Blog

Hi there,

Vanilla Bean Can Cakes with Whipped Red Wine Ganache

I'm guest blogging today over at Everyday Desserts. Yay! First ever guest blog! :)

Over there, you will find out wonderful new things.... like how to make cakes in cans!

And how to whip ganache in order to make frosting! Oh yeah, and it has red wine in it!

And the secret to weight loss - okay I made that one up - I mean really, we're talking about cake here.

Hop on over and check out Angelyn's awesome blog and check out my post today.

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Peppermint Oreo Truffles

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

We sure did around here. It was a relaxing day that was filled with a lot of blessings... and eating!

We weren't able to be with our family this year, but Skype and FaceTime has really made a difference in technology - and I was able to have conversations with family and friends from all over the world (Washington, South Carolina, and even China) via FaceTime and it was almost like being together - almost. My dad called on FaceTime from the terminal of the Atlanta airport on his way to visit family out of the country. He turned the phone around to show me the airport, and it was completely dead! I guess not many people fly internationally on Christmas day. Made it nice for him, he was getting on a 14 hour flight and there were lots of extra seats - Leg room, baby! ha

How was your Christmas? What did you do? I hope it was filled with blessings and love from your family, and hopefully your were able to set aside a time to quiet yourself and reflect on this season.

We spent some time with a great group of friends yesterday, enjoying the day together - and had a lot of fun. We decided to forego the large Christmas dinner idea so that nobody was spending the entire day in the kitchen, and went for a large pot of white chicken chili, salad, and yummy appetizers. Everybody pitched in and brought appetizers, dips, desserts, etc and we pretty much ate all day. It was divine! :)

One of the things I brought were these yummy peppermint Oreo truffles. They are so so good. They stay moist in the middle from the cream cheese, and they have just the slightest hint of peppermint flavor - not too overwhelming like a lot of peppermint flavored goodies. You could always increase or decrease the amount of peppermint candy used if you wanted to change it - or even omit it all together if you don't like peppermint. These are a great way to use up those candy cane Christmas tree decorations, and would make a really great New Year's Eve goody to bring for your parties. Hope you enjoy!

Peppermint Oreo Truffles (Adapted From: Kraft Recipes)

Print Recipe

Ingredients:

~ 12 peppermint candies, divided

1 package Oreo cookies

1 8 oz. package cream cheese, softened

12 ounces dark (bittersweet) chocolate chips

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

Here's your lineup of what you'll need

Preparation:

1. Place cookies and 8 peppermint candies in a food processor, pulsing until completely crushed.

2. Place cream cheese in food processor with crushed cookie mixture. Pulse until it makes a batter, and all cookie crumbs are combined. Place mixture in fridge for 20-30 minutes or until chilled.

3. While chilling, place remaining peppermint candies in a ziploc bag and crush into smaller pieces with a meat mallet or rolling pin (you'll want bigger pieces, not fine dust)

4. Place chocolate chips and vegetable oil in a microwave-safe bowl, and melt in 30 second increments until completely smooth and melted.

5. Roll chilled cookie mixture into 1" balls and place on parchment paper lined cookie sheet.

6. Dip rolled cookie mixture into chocolate using a small fork, covering entire ball with chocolate. Take out and tap fork on edge of bowl a few times to tap off excess chocolate. Top with remaining peppermint candy pieces immediately after dipping before the chocolate dries.

7. Continue dipping process with all of the balls. Place in refrigerator to harden approximately 30 minutes.

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Salted Caramel Corn

Whew.... is it really only Tuesday??

It feels like it should be at least Thursday....

I feel like I'm recuperating from last week, when Archie and I had something going on EVERY single night of the week. How do we let our schedules get that way?

We keep saying we're going to slow down, and then we turn around and we have something booked for all week. This week we mandated ourselves to have nothing going on... but my body is only just beginning to catch up from the madness of a crazy busy week, and a fun, but busy weekend!

There is something really fun about having a lot going on, and having a full schedule, and seeing lots of people, enjoying and connecting with others. We love it, sometimes we thrive off of it... but there's also a need to just be still every once in a while, enjoy time together, and just sit on the couch and do nothing! Date nights are also crucial for us... and when we jam pack our schedule, we feel like our eyes are drooping when we're out having a date night.

Salted Caramel Corn over coffee bean ice cream.... yes, please!

My time alone with God suffers too... I find myself going to bed late, and then I wake up late as a result. I sleep in until the very last possible second with leaving myself just enough time to get ready for work, and in the midst of it - I nix my time to sit out on the back porch, journal, Bible, and coffee in hand, and embrace all that God has for me that day. Then I'm running out the door, hurried, rushed, and with a bad attitude - and it isn't even 9am.

So, this week, we're just relaxing! Going to bed early.... getting back into good habits... enjoying date night... having a little fun too, but overall we're readjusting!

Can anyone else relate?? Why is it that when we ask people how they are, everyone ALWAYS says, "Good.... but busy!".

Anywho, Here's some super yummy caramel corn - not just any caramel corn, but salted caramel corn! YUM. It has a pinch of saltiness with caramely, buttery sweetness, and mixed together makes a great snack or dessert. And if you feel so inclined, add a little chocolate drizzled on top, and it reminds me of Harry and David's Moose Munch... YUM!

Salted Caramel Corn in a cone... which reminds me of the fair in the fall... and we all know how much I love fall! :)

Salted Caramel Corn (Adapted from Food 52)

PRINT RECIPE

ingredients:

POPCORN

3 tablespoons vegetable or canola oil

1/2 cup white corn kernals

CARAMEL

1 cup brown sugar

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter

1/2 cup heavy cream

3 teaspoons sea salt

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 ounces milk or semisweet chocolate

1/2 tablespoon vegetable or canola oil

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Spray sheet pan with cooking spray and set it aside for later.

2. In a large stock pot or dutch oven, add 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil over medium heat with 3 kernels of the popcorn. Place the lid on top and wait until you hear the popcorn pop. That's when you know the oil is hot enough to add the rest.

3. Once you hear them pop, add the rest of the popcorn with the lid almost all the way on, and continue popping until it slows, almost stopping. Check them at this point, because nobody likes burnt popcorn! :) Remove from heat, set in a bowl, and set aside.

4. In a separate small saucepan, combine brown sugar, butter, heavy cream, and salt. Bring to a boil.

5. Reduce heat to allow caramel mixture to simmer, and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and add in vanilla - allow to cool slightly.

6. Pour caramel mixture over popcorn in bowl and mix thoroughly, allowing popcorn to be fully coated. You might have to use your hands for this step.

7. Spread popcorn evenly and in one single layer over baking tray, and I sprinkled with a bit of extra brown sugar for luck. Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes. If popcorn is still mushy at 30 minutes, cook for another 10 minutes. Popcorn will not be "dry" at this point, but should be crunchy. Spread onto parchment paper to allow to cool.

8. Mix together 3 ounces chocolate and oil and heat until melted. Drizzle mixture over cooled popcorn and allow to harden (I threw mine in the freezer for a few minutes). Break apart with spoon into smaller pieces, and enjoy! Store in a tupperware or sealable container to keep from getting stale and mushy.

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National Smore's Day

Did you know today is National Smore's Day!?!?! I think it seems kind of funny to have Smore's Day in the summer - but I guess it goes with camping. I just think of Smore's as a fall thing.

Chocolate Marshmallows

I had to post something to celebrate... something like National Smore's Day can't just be ignored!

chocolate of every kind

I've been asked a couple times to post these pictures, but I kept putting it off. Well, I'm glad I did, because today was the perfect day! :) This was a party that my sister and I threw for my brother-in-law when he graduated from college. He's a huge outdoorsy guy - loves camping, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking... you name it. So we wanted to do something fun for the party - along the lines of a dessert table, but something that wouldn't feel like a feminine dessert bar. It needed to feel at least partly masculine.

Desserts, marshmallows of every kind, pretty little decorations

This was such a good way to do it... make everyone at the party happy, and do a little something special to celebrate him as well. We had a fire pit outside to let everyone heat up their smore's, and lots of other options for those opting to ditch the smore's (how dare they! ;) )

We added a few little touches of decorations by spray painting mini pumpkins fun fall colors just to add a little splash, and apples sliced and cored with cinnamon sticks used as cups for cider and punch.

Gilded Pumpkins

Apple Cider Cups

And of course, it wouldn't be a smore's party unless you put the large marshmallow in the microwave to see just how large it will get! Seriously.... the size of a loaf of bread. Craziness. I mean, you can see the paper plate - it's overflowing.

And then of course, there's always cute little nieces eating caramel apples to liven up all parties as well! :) Couldn't have a smore's party without that! ;)
So, go out and celebrate Smore's Day with a little party of your own.

Did you celebrate National Smore's Day?

Any Dessert Table Pics you have to share?

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